Merry Christmas
A series of events that led to a far more meaningful evening started with $72 for a jug of poison.
Gwen was asking me to try the Butter Ice Tea and I was stunned when the bill amounted to $72. After having that drink, I couldn't enjoy my usual whiskey dry like how it should be. Having standing there aimlessly for half an hour, i figured I am better off bouncing back home since I wasn't feeling the vibe. "I am making a move.. take care of the girls.." and poof I left.
I woke up feeling rather incomplete with the night before, I wished I was there to enjoy the night but I guessed whatever I did was necessary too. Making up for it, my friends were nice enough to come by and have an impromptu cycling trip. Which is quite pleasant for a change. I am thankful to have such great company. I wished we have done all these much earlier and hope by hanging out, we would all have a better relationship. Its one of the biggest mystery in my opinion though.. "What would I be doing if I do not have any friends? A solitary life without any friends is indeed something to fear."
I've grown so much over the past week. Perhaps it would be wiser for me to take a step back and start seeing the bigger picture in life and my friends. Everyone wants what is best for themselves. Everyone wants to have fun. I feel disempowered several times in a day and to function at 100% is indeed a big challenge. I find myself being less and less productive as the days goes by and nothing fruitful is coming out.
Still, its nice to know that at the end of it all, you have a huge force of friends who are willing to sacrifice their time to be cycling with you in the middle of the night, picking a fairly brand new Aleola bike from the ditch, fixing the chains, riding it back to your place with you , restoring the bike, take a shower at ya place, go and eat teo chew porridge, send the bike back to Yan Ru's place, have your best friend driving ya back.. sometimes, certain things is mutual.. but sometimes, we all should take more initiative in addressing the various concerns of every single individuals. Of late, I failed to do that and I will work on that too..
While I am still alive.. I will strive to be better and not let the little things get in my way. I am just thankful that i get to sleep and wake up the next day as of now..I love you world. I am turning to the universe now and asking for forgiveness and enlightenment for what i was being to others .. causing pain and worry and stuff.. I am asking for strength and will power to be a better being.. I am asking for love.. a love that I should be receiving a long long time ago.. give me the power.. to empower others..
Merry christmas.. Its the season of giving and I have given everything i knew to give to the people around me.
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Hold me, Thrill Me, Kiss me.......... Kill me.
